Don’t expect the magic formula valid for everyone and in every situation. Does not exist. Instead, there are some suggestions that come from lesbian girls and gay guys who have succeeded in the enterprise.
Here is a brief guide to coming out in seven steps, carried out with the help of volunteers and operators from the Ireos Florentine LGBT association .
1. No to hurry
When is the right time? It depends. It is a personal choice: everyone has his times and it is good to take the “big step” only when you are sure , without being influenced by external pressures.
Better to think about it and not be impulsive , evaluating the pros and cons.
2. Wait, but not too much
Taking time is fine, but waiting too long can be counterproductive . In the long run, there may be voices from others in the ear of family members.
In the case of very negative reports, the suggestion is to go with feet of lead, such as declaring yourself gay or lesbian only when you have available financial resources .
It’s a good thing to create a network of people and relatives around you who can help if mom and dad react badly.
4. Do you trust me?
Start with small steps. The first: confide in a person of the highest esteem and who obviously does not have a long language. It can be a friend or relative.
5. You are not alone
The second step is to talk. Many young gays and many lesbian girls live the same dilemma: I say it or not I say it ? In many cities there are LGBT companies where you can have a chat and talk.
In Florence the Ireos association hosts the meetings of some groups of young people and offers advice.
6. Don’t panic
Here we are at the point: how to declare one’s homosexuality. First of all it must be done calmly , in a quiet place and for a moment without haste .
Absolutely avoid the moments when you are in a bad mood or are fighting. First it is preferable to probe the ground , addressing general topics or current news regarding homosexuality.
Once the sentence is said, the questions will probably begin. “Are you sure?”, “Where did we go wrong?” It is good to talk about one’s fears and make parents express their fears or doubts .
To declare oneself homosexual does not mean to place a “burden” on others, but to share an important aspect of one’s life.